The night before Brandon left
Asleep on the couch
Saying goodbyeWell....Here we go again. Jackson and I are on our own once more. This time for a lot longer than we ever have been. We are hoping that Jackson's passport will be here next week. At least that's what they have been telling me. Then we will hop a plane home for a visit. That's going to be an experience in itself. Getting myself to the airport with a baby and a suitcase. However...We hope to see you all soon.
The day before Brandon left was rough. Jackson was really fussy. Refused to take a nap or eat full meals. It was like he could feel the tension and anxiety. He knew what was coming. He just wanted to be with his Daddy all day. He did sleep all night, which was great for us because we really needed the sleep. Brandon took him out of bed in the morning so that we could put him in his car seat. He said goodbye to him while Jackson rubbed his face on his Daddy's shoulder trying to go back to sleep. And that was that. We drove him to the ship and dropped him off. Did a quick goodbye in the parking lot. I was thankful that Jackson fell asleep in the car on the way home, he went right back to sleep when I put him in his crib and slept for several more hours. He just wore himself out.
I am doing better than I expected I would. After being strong for such a long period of time it exhausts you. I takes a lot of energy to pretend that you are fine when your other half has to go away. Of course it hurts, he's part of me. I knew it would be tougher this time around. Watching my husband kiss our son goodbye. Jackson will be 8 months old before Brandon sees him again. I gave myself permission to cry if I felt like I needed to. I was waiting for the tears to come and they never did. I stood in the cold and kissed him. I drove home. Still no tears. I'm stronger than I thought I was. I know I'm gonna make it. But only because I don't have a choice. At least I'm not falling apart right from the get go. We are gonna have one heck of a homecoming. I can't wait to start making plans for when I see my love again.
5 comments:
I am praying for you, Emily. You are brave, but I'm glad you give yourself permission to cry. I like that you look forward to welcoming him home ... and it will be so much fun to see you and meet little Jackson!
I can't even imagine! We handle what we have to though. Such sweet pics of your guys together! Wish I lived closer so I could see you when you come home! Have a great visit! Hang tough...luv u cuz =)
You are in my prayers, Em. Those are special pictures that you took of the two of them.
I can't imagine how hard it must be to know it will be so long before you see Brandon again, you are a strong person.
I hope that passport comes soon, I am very excited to meet you and Jackson!
Thanks for sharing your journey with us, hope it makes the burden lighter on you! Those pictures were so precious!
"It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect!" Hope that verse comforts you when you need some encouragement!
Praying your passport hurries the heck up so you can go home and get some good old pampering!!
We are excited to see you when you come home! We will have to have a little play date with all the mommies and new babies! You are a brave little mamma over there Emily, I pray God will give you the grace you need!
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