Hilarity

After mulling it over and laughing about it in my head for a few days, I have decided that my most recent humorous event is blog worthy. The day before Brandon left he filled my car with gas. I hate pumping my own gas. Not because I am incapable of doing so, it's just that after I got married and my husband did it for me, I realized I never really liked doing it anyways, and have enjoyed him filling my tank ever since. Except for the occasional deployment with him being gone, I haven't had to do it very often for the last several years. Married bliss I tell ya.

I am quite thankful that my little Japanese car gets good gas mileage. With the gas prices sky rocketing, it's nice to get so many miles to the gallon. I drive a Suzuki Wagon R. Which is very much like a moped with 4 wheels. It looks like a metal lunch box, tiny in size, but just right for our little family. After a few weeks of Brandon being gone my car was finally ready for a gas refill. My friend Jessica and I just happened to be on base when my gas gauge was on E. So we puttered into the gas station to fill up. After a long day of sightseeing her 2 kids were asleep in the backseat of my car. I parked in front of the pump. I got out and waddled over to the other side of the car. I tried to open the gas flap. No go. Jessica sat waiting patiently in the car for me. I waddled back to the drivers side and looked for a little button of some sort to pop open my gas flap. A ha. Found it. I pulled it up, but didn't hear anything. I pulled it up again, still nothing. I waddled over to the other side of the car to see if it had opened. Nope. Jessica is now giggling at me. I am noticing that there are a few cars behind me waiting in line. I waddle faster back to the drivers side of the car. I am frustrated and Jessica is now laughing so hard at me that she is doubled over. What do I do, I asked her. Still laughing, she is shaking her head clueless. Right then my cell phone rang. Praise Jesus, it's Brandon. I quickly tell him my ordeal. He chuckles and said he once had the same problem, but forgot to tell me about how to solve it. He tells me to stick the car key in the side of the gas flap and pry it open. How simple could it get. Pry it open?? I am a gas filling MacGyver now?? I get off the phone with him. Open the gas cap, put the pump in the hole and start filling. Should be over now right? No. I didn't get off that easy.

Jessica is still laughing at me as I fill, now with her window rolled down, talking to me about how I must be suffering from pregnancy brain. As I am chatting with her I hear a pop. Hmmm....I look at the gas pump. It's only filled 5 gallons worth of gas. I know my tank is bigger than that. I restart the gas pump. Fill it a little more. Pop. What in the world is going on? I know that God is laughing at me right now, he has quite the sense of humor. Jessica certainly is laughing at me. I try again to restart the filling. Pop. Splash splash splash. Gas is pouring out the gas hole all over the side of the car, the tail pipe, the tire, the ground, and my feet. Crap. How did I over flow a gas tank that isn't even full yet? I'm almost positive that my tank holds 10 gallons, and it's only filled up to 5 gallons. Meanwhile the cars are piling up behind me. Laughing I ask Jess what I should do.

She tells me through her laughter, tears streaming down her face, that we can't possibly start the car. It will in fact blow up. Blow up into a huge flaming explosion and burn her and the kids in a fiery inferno. No, we don't want that. I tell her to put the car in Neutral. I will push it out of the way, so that the other cars can get their gas. A man coming out of the mini mart sees me behind the car posed, ready to push. My huge belly in the way. He asks what I think I'm doing. I tell him of the situation at hand and he roars with laughter. I'm not sure if he thought it was funny to see a nearly full term pregnant woman trying to push a car. Or that we little ladies thought that the car would blow up if we started it. Humoring me, he helped push the car to the side. I left Jessica outside waiting and went inside to pay. When I came out and got in the car, she said, Well nice knowing ya. We burst into laughter again. My stomach was so sore and my face was wet with tears from laughing so hard. I started the car and to our surprise we didn't explode. We drove out of the parking lot expecting at any moment that the tail pipe would catch fire and burst into flames. It didn't. We made it all the way home in one piece.

Later when Brandon called to say hello I told him our story. He was laughing quite a bit. But didn't think it was quite as funny as we did. Guess you just had to be there I told him. I asked if something was wrong with the car. He then told me a very valuable piece of information that I would have loved to have known before my gas conundrum. The car only has a 6 gallon tank. There's nothing wrong with it, besides the fact that it's owner is an idiot. I over flowed the gas tank! It was my fault, not the cars or the gas pumps! I pride myself on being smarter than the average bear. I have good common sense, and to do something so simply dumb was quite the blow to my ego. I'm glad that I can laugh at myself for it, at the end of the day I guess that's all you can do, or life wont ever be any fun. Whether it was really funny or not is up to you. I guess you just had to be there.